The end of year holiday season should be a happy time of year except for two persistent issues that haunt a lot of people, the ability to say “No” and breaking down all that hustle and bustle to what really makes them happy. Is this you? The excerpt below is from the article posted in on December 6th in Mental Health section of Guaranteed Giddy, a life coaching site entitled, “Holiday Season Encouragement: A Collaborative Post from Certified Life Coaches.”
As the title suggests, several life coaches weighed in on how they cope with many issue with these being the top two that I chose because they use to be my personal top two. However, as I’ve become more self-aware and committed to self-care, they are no longer my nemesis, but only a faint but distinct reminder of the not-so-distant-enough-past. I hope you find a kernel of wisdom in this excerpt.
Notwithstanding any pressing needs or real tragedies, I suggest you first, other people second, and things last. I hope you find a kernel of wisdom in this excerpt and have a happy holiday season! Merry Christmas to my church family!
What is your #1 best practice for saying ‘no’ during the holiday season?
I am actually quite comfortable to say no anytime of year. For me it is all about being self aware, if my body is aching and ready to turn in early one night I am so going to do it. There is no pushing myself to catch up with everyone or indulging unnecessarily though I do tend to have a few extra gin & tonics at this time of year. But I allow it to happen, and keep that awareness of my limits. -Lizzie
My work is all about getting into your body; we all intuitively have the answers to any question we want to know, we often just get stuck in our heads and in our people-pleasing ways. You can start to learn what a visceral “yes” and visceral “no” feels like by asking yourself simple questions, like: “Am I a hippopotamus?” Then you can close your eyes and feel how your body reacts to that question. Do the same with an obvious “yes” question. Once you practice these and get to know your body’s reactions, you can do it on a dime when faced with a decision. The trick is being able to communicate that to others. Just remember: it is not your responsibility to make other people happy– that is their responsibility! You are responsible for your own health and happiness and when you make decisions that support that, you will show up as your best self for others. -Mandy
Check in with yourself and if it’s something that you really can’t or don’t want to do then just be straightforward & kind in your delivery. The world’s not going to end if you put yourself first and you’ll definitely thank yourself later. Remember that old saying, honesty is the best policy! -Terri
Don´t be a yes dispenser. 5 heartfelt yesses are better than 10 yesses out of obligation. Define for yourself who and what is really meaningful to you and then go for that. -Daniela
Sitting down, closing your eyes practicing deep belly breaths and tuning into what your heart and soul truely wants (even if it is just for one minute!). When you give yourself this time and space you can make a decision based on love (and not fear). When we drop our expectations and ego driven thoughts we can tune in to our higher purpose and what is really going to serve us. So I encourage my clients to do this practice and tune in when making decisions and learning how to say no from a place of love. 9 times out of 10 the answer will present itself clearly (either a strong yes or no) but in cases where it isn’t quite clear, I suggest asking yourself how will it make me feel if I say yes? and then, how will it make me feel if I say no? From there you are not only checking in with your feelings but you are making the decision that will make you feel most alive, supported and nourished which is so important at any time of year but especially the holiday season. Lastly two things I want to add on this one, it gets easier with practice (I promise, because I personally struggled with this one for a YEARS – hello people pleasing) and don’t make this about other people (what will they think, what will they say, etc) make it about you. You are the creator of your best life and you are in the driving seat. -Jenna
Set your schedule early so you don’t overbook yourself and can say ‘no’ with authority. It can be empowering to say no when you know you will be giving yourself time with those who are most important and making solo time a priority if needed! -Alli
What brings you joy during the holiday season?
Hands down spending time with my family and taking the time to slow the pace and appreciate the little things. Time goes by so fast in our busy lives that it’s a blessing to be able take time with our loved ones and really appreciate what we have, No matter how small. -Terri
I just love that there is a holiday centered around love and joy. Seeing people soften, do kind things for one another, give physical gifts and the gift of time and presence… all of that just warms my heart! -Mandy
Family, Sunshine, Nourishing Food, Balance, Yoga, Beach, Indy (my dog), Slowing down, Making space to reflect and plan, Gifts and Deep Gratitude. -Jenna
My family, I am so blessed to have an amazing family, my children light me up, my husband is my rock and the extended family all know how to do holidays well and that is relaxed. We spend our Christmas to New Years at a Folk Music Festival camping together and enjoying great music as a group. I love it! -Lizzie
Meeting old friends I haven´t seen in a long time and the fairy lights that are everywhere. Excitement for a new, adventurous year that lies ahead of us with its endless possibilities. -Daniela
This has changed for me so much over the last few years. I used to value shopping for others, now I enjoy quality time with those I really care about. I’m done pleasing people who don’t think twice about me. Nobody has time for that! I enjoy seeing my nieces and nephews most and have experience gifts planned with them. -Alli